Abbott & Costello Buy a Computer
After 2 weeks of tackling a variety of technical difficulties, I thought I’d share some computer humor with all of you. I love Abbott and Costello movies, and hope you enjoy this spin off of “Who’s on First?” as much as I did!
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Computer store: “Can I help you?”
Lou Costello: “I’m setting up an office in my den, and I’m thinking about buying a computer.”
“Mac?”
“No, the names Lou.”
“Your computer?”
“I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.”
“Mac?”
“I told you, my name’s Lou.”
“What about Windows?”
“Why? Will it get stuffy in here?”
“Do you want a computer with Windows?”
“I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?”
“Wallpaper.”
“Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.”
“Software for Windows?”
“No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?”
“Office.”
“Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?”
“I just did.”
“You just did what?”
“Recommend something.”
“You recommended something?”
“Yes.”
“For my office?”
“Yes.”
“OK, what did you recommend for my office?”
“Office.”
“Yes, for my office!”
“I recommend Office with Windows.”
“I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?”
“Word.”
“What word?”
“Word in Office.”
“The only word in office is office.”
“The Word in Office for Windows.”
“Which word in office for windows?”
“The Word you get when you click the blue W.”
“I’m going to click YOUR blue W if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?”
“Yes. For that you want Real One.”
“Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!”
“Real One.”
“If it’s a long movie I also want to see reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?”
“Of course.”
“Great, with what?
“Real One.”
“OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?”
“You click the blue ‘1′.”
“I click the blue one what?”
“The blue ‘1′.”
“Is that different from the blue W?”
“The blue ‘1′ is Real One and the blue W is Word.”
“What word?”
“The Word in Office for Windows.”
“But there’s three words in ‘office for windows’!”
“No, just one. But its the most popular Word in the world.”
“It is?”
“Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.”
“And that word is the real one?”
“Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.”
“Stop! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can track my money with?”
“Money.”
“That’s right. What do you have?”
“Money.”
“I need money to track my money?”
“It comes bundled with your computer.”
“What’s bundled to my computer?”
“Money.”
“Money comes with my computer?”
“Yes. No extra charge.”
“I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?”
“One copy.”
“Isn’t it illegal to copy money?”
“Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.”
“They can give you a license to copy money?”
“Why not? They own it…”
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I got this a few years ago so I’m not sure who the original author is, or I would give them credit here. But kudos to you, whoever you are!
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